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Astro Loco • Emotional Vampires.....

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Emotional Vampires.....

Giving advice to any problems or concerns. from relationship issues, to self esteem issues, to parenting issues, to any day to day issues you may have.

Emotional Vampires.....

Postby Indego » Tue 04 Jun, 2013 3:12 am

So while I was absent from AL i learned a few things, and thought I'd share them here with you all.

Considering the popularity of Vampires at the moment, this one came as quite a shock to me, the concept of a vampire sucking the life (IE Blood) out of you isn't too far from the truth. In actual fact there is a personality type that is very much like a vampire, in such that this personality type, appears to be a normal person, balanced but needy, this personality tends to be very friendly but does not know its limits and once an established friendship has occurred they then move on to dump heavy emotional issues on their new friends, this in fact has a two fold effect.

Firstly the emotional vampire will unload their issues on to their friends and associates asking for guidance and direction as to how best to resolve their issues. of course the friend will oblige and give the support asked for, this will continue on until the friend is so emotionally drained by the vampire that they can no longer focus on what is relevant to them any more and the burdens of trying to assist their vampire friends becomes overwhelming. During this period the vampire will build in a need value to the friendship and refer to their friend as a best friend or special friend, continually building the dependency of the vampire on the new friend, until such point that the friend is so exhausted by the vampires needs and issues they can no longer function due to the lack of energy they have left to deal with their own issues. At this point the friend then begins to evaluate their own lives and work out why they are so tired or emotionally drained, because nothing unusual seems to be happening. Eventually they realise that its their new Vampire friend that is the cause of the emotional depletion, they realise that no matter how much good advise and assistance they give the vampire this person continues to repeat the same mistakes or find them selves in the same situation....

At that point the friend then realises that they need to distance them selves from the vampire, of course the kind of person that the friend is doesn't want to be rude so they do it subtly, however this has little to no effect on the vampire because either they lack the ability to pick up on subtle hints and suggestions or they are fully aware of the situation and don't want to loose their source of emotional high, so they choose to ignore their friends intentions and continue to suck the emotional life out of them.

This is when the friend usually becomes so emotionally drained that they try and shut the vampire out, to escape the constant drain on their emotions and time. In return to this action the vampire will usually do one of two things become a stalker like individual and follow and conveniently show up at the friends work place or be at the same place as the friend may frequent to attempt to reconnect and thus drain the friend of even more emotional energy. Or and this is where the destructive nature of the vampire is truly shown, the Vampire will lash out at the friend saying that they were never really their friend, that they don't care about the vampire any more, that they have some how been hurt by the friend and in the process try and turn the friends own associates against them to cause them further pain and guilt for not continuing to endure the endless issues and pains that the vampire wants to inflict upon them.

The vampire does however have one weakness, and this is the only real way of removing the vampire from your emotional circle. That is to move the vampire onto some other soul so they can continue to suck the life out of someone else or find an equally matched vampire and pair them up to suck the life out of each other, short of just shooting them in the head there is little else you can do.

So be warned, Vampires do exist and they everywhere. preserve you emotional energy and be cautious as to whom you give your energy to..... I'd had to see you fall victim to an emotional vampire as I have done. the consequences can be quite upsetting...

don't say you weren't warned.


PS if all else fails and you can't seem to get rid of your emotional vampire, and shooting them in the head is either illegal where you live or just not your style, Try publicly humiliating them... that seems to be a solution as a last resort, but be warned they like to fight back....
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Re: Emotional Vampires.....

Postby anwiii » Mon 10 Jun, 2013 12:16 am

the simple definition of an "emotional vampire" is someone who will always take and doesn't seem to give anything back in return. i don't like this terminology when describing people because there will always be underlying issues and these "emotional vampires" will usually come in the form of people closest to you like family or friends. why call a friend and/or family member "an emotional vampire" who is always draining?

people have choices in who to be around or not be around. people have choices to allow certain things in their life or not allow certain things in their life.

someone clipped out an excerpt from a magazine for me one day describing an emotional vampire. i know why it was given to me. it described my older sister like it was written just for her. i DO NOT like the words "emotional vampire" though.

it's easy to blame others and call them emotional vampires while not even looking in the mirror trying to figure out where all their own selfishness is coming from. everyone has problems, but when people start blaming others for their problems by calling others an emotional vampire, it's at that time when it's very important to take a look in that mirror.

what one will usually see when they think the emotional vampire is to blame for their problems or how they feel is that they give a lot and they resent being taken for granted. they consider themselves good people who try to do some good and help people.

the problem is not the "emotional vampire". it's the mindset someone has thinking they can be there for others without creating an emotional attachment. this is very naive thinking and very ignorant. it usually comes from the world of denial they live in and the walls they put up to protect themselves from reality.

since it's the people closest to us that have the potential to be most draining, it's wrong of us to even think that the only problem is THEM. people who will use the terminology "emotional vampire" towards those closest to them like family and friends have no idea what kind of hurt they themselves spread without any understanding of how the other people feels or understand why these "emotional vampires" have an emotional attachment.

because someone complains about the emotional attachment an "emotional vampire" has on you, ask yourself what YOU did to create the consequence to your own actions. ask yourself what role YOU had in creating this "monster" of "an emotional vampire".....a friend......or family member....that you yourself want to define as something bad, but still keep in your life.....and by doing so.....hurt those around you through your own pain and resentment and the feeling that you are being taken advantage of.

and yes....when all else fails.....you can humiliate those closest to you too. when all is said and done though, the "emotional vampire" comes out looking as a saint compared to the one complaining and feeling hurt and resentful and blaming others for their problems....never even knowing what role they played in how they feel because they would rather live in denial than face the truth about their own selves and their own personal problems they have
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Re: Emotional Vampires.....

Postby Indego » Tue 11 Jun, 2013 1:29 am

interesting response there... Anwiii. given the topic was not about anyone in particular, just an observation that I had made a while ago and then had this observation re-enforced the other day, i suppose you are correct with regards to taking a look in the mirror and not blaming someone else for their need to lump huge amounts of emotional baggage onto a relationship. I suppose you could be correct in the statement that I was the one at blame for this situation, i may have even encouraged it. but then again I seem to be the one who always gets the blame when this particular person is involved they can do no wrong. they are so sweet and innocent. until your back is turned and they are venting hatred at you via private message and email... Either way their emotional needs are no longer my concern, someone else can have them draining the fun out of live. i most certainly do not need to be preached to by them or anyone else for that fact. I am far from perfect and have never claimed to be so either, I am also far from the evil negatively focused being that they can be as well.... Either way i've had my little vent. that person has made their bed they can lie in it now so to speak.. i'm sure they will be very happy with out me in their life so i most certainly don't miss their needy winge filled drama..... I have drag queens for that if i want... :)
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Re: Emotional Vampires.....

Postby anwiii » Tue 11 Jun, 2013 2:13 am

well my words come from my experience with my sister and those affected around her. although sometimes a nightmare to deal with these people, i know i had to take a long look at myself and how the situation came to be in the first place. what i found out later on was interesting after some soul searching. people don't understand fully the consequences of their actions. in a perfect world certain people may have good intentions but their good intentions could have an opposite effect....and more likely than not, will in some form. in most instances as well, those with good intentions are usually in denial....only focused on the good they tried to accomplish.

when i experienced similar situations in the past after realizing what i did with my family towards my sister, i have always tried to put myself in check and tried to be more objective when looking at a situation where there is someone who is too emotionally attatched("emotional vampire"). takes a lot of patience. if i don't have it, rather than to to "fix" the problem with the other person, i try to detatch myself slowly.....which funny enough, kinda fixes the problem directly and indirectly for both parties....
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